Looking Heavenward

6 much

2008-04-08T21:56:00.004-04:00

"I want the much Jelly* has. Is that the much Jelly has?" 3 year old Mimi asked, as her father poured orange juice into her cup at the Shabbos table.

"It's how much Mimi gets," said her father.

"I'll count it," she said, running her finger randomly up the side of the cup, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. It's 6 much. Jelly, count yours. Do you have 6 much?"

2 year old Jelly runs her own finger randomly up the side of her cup. "1, 2, 3, 6, 7. Yup, it's 6 much!"

Both children happily drink their orange juice.

*The Jack, Kack, Lack... thing wasn't working for me, so the children have new nicknames. See original post (now edited) for details.

Oh, yes, the trip

2008-03-27T11:09:00.001-04:00

Well, we all survived. Oldest daughter swallowed wrong on the way down and threw up, 2 hours out. We decided she wasn't actually sick (several kids had just gotten over a stomach bug, which she had somehow miraculously missed, but this seemed to be just car sickness, not "real") and kept going, after a stop to clean up a bit.

Then we somehow got lost for a little bit in Queens, but luckily we'd switched drivers by then (I drove most of the way down) and my husband was a lot less likely to panic than I am! I dug out my LI highway map and managed to navigate back to the Van Wyck so that we could get back on our directions, since my map didn't have enough local streets to get us all the way there otherwise.

We were about an hour late, but my husband was able to join them for the Mincha Minyan, we heard all the important speeches, saw all the important people... it was fun. I had no problem finding what to eat at the fancy smörgåsbord, but the kids had only "dessert" so we had to stop for pizza and French fries (the latter for my lactose intolerant but still picky kid) before we headed back north.

Wow, I have never seen so many Kosher restaurants in one place in my entire life. And I grew up 15-20 minutes away from there!

Trip back was pretty uneventful, except for the optical illusion truck traveling in front of us. It was practically invisible in the dark, except for the taillights, which really looked like three separate cars far off in the distance. My husband, who was driving, saw it and dismissed it as far away and ignored it. I woke up at that point, having dozed off for a bit, and having nothing better to do, was focusing on the lights for long enough to suddenly realize they stayed in sync with each other, and thus break the optical illusion in time to make him slow down well before we would have hit it. (We were going the speed limit, but the truck was driving a bit slower than that.) And even then, I was still unsure that it wasn't really three cars way far ahead until we pulled out and passed it... it was a good (if dangerous) optical illusion.

The kid who refused to go with us then went on an even longer car trip to Montreal in February, with a school-sponsored trip, with no complaints at all. Go figure.

Goldie Eisenhorn and the Three Behrs

2008-03-27T10:55:00.005-04:00

Once upon a time, in a year much like this one, where Erev Pesach falls out on Shabbos, there lived a little girl named Goldie. Goldie Eisenhorn. She was about 7, old enough to cross small streets and such, but not old enough to stay home alone. Luckily she lived with her parents. About as often as she was home, she visited another family, friends of her family, who lived across the street and down two blocks, the Behrs. The Behrs had a little boy just two and a half years old. His name was actually Chaim, but everyone called him Baby, and Goldie liked to help his Mama around the house, or just sit and read to little Chaim.

Goldie's parents had never wanted just one child, and they'd been seeing doctors to help explain why they hadn't had any more children yet. Goldie's mother was finally expecting a new little brother or sister, and the baby was due about 2 weeks after Pesach that year. Goldie's mother was very tired! Goldie tried her best to help her and stay out of her way, but she was only a little girl, and she did sometimes get bored playing by herself. And when she got bored, she often got into trouble. When her mother was too tired to play with her, she sent Goldie across the street and down the 2 blocks to "help" Mama Behr.

(to be continued...)

Insane, take two.

2008-01-26T20:45:00.000-05:00

It's a mitzvah to be "me'sameach Chosson v'Kallah." That means it's a commandment (from G-d, since who else gets to issue commandments?) to make a bride and groom happy.

Generally that's said in relation to the actual wedding, and maybe for the week (or even the year) afterwards, but we're taking the commandment a little more generally, and since

1) we've been informed that my husband's brother (the groom in question) really really wants him to come to his engagement party and

2) ~~my husband's life wouldn't be worth much~~ my husband would have to do all the driving himself if he went to a PARTY without me, and

3) farming out the kids on a school night (I mean, it's Sunday, but we'll be back late) is more trouble than it's worth...

So, we're farming out the one who doesn't want to sit in the van for 8 hours in one day, and taking the other 7 kids with us from Rhode Island to Queens (New York). Four hours there, four hours of party, four hours back, transfer 7 hopefully sleeping kids from a 15-passenger van to their beds, wake up bright and early and get everyone to school on time in the morning. Piece of cake.

I'll let all my non-existent readers know how it went, B'li neder (without a vow.)

Hey, enough people already think I'm crazy for having 8 kids in 10 years. What's a day trip to NY?

Two, too, to

2008-01-17T12:27:00.001-05:00

Jelly (previously known as Pack) is two. Being two is very important. Whenever someone is counting out loud, and gets to two, she immediately pipes up with "I'm two!" Sometimes she also says it when someone used the word "too" or "to" instead of "two," but hey, she's only two and she doesn't spell so well yet. She does however, have a good grasp of numbers higher than two when she wants more of something!

Case in point: This week Devi (previously known as Kack: She's 9) came home from school with a can of Pepsi. It was her prize from some school program. (We can talk some other time about school prizes being sugary junk! Needless to say, I was less than pleased.) Anyway, Devi shared her Pepsi with some of the other kids. Jelly wanted more. Devi told her, "I think you had too much soda already." Jelly wasn't fazed by that. Immediately she came back with, "I want four much!"

Say what?

2007-08-31T08:58:00.001-04:00

Mimi (previously known as Oack: She's 3) came running into the playroom from the hallway, obviously very upset. "Mama," she said, "Motti (previously known as Nack) put a chalking hazard in my hair!" "You mean a choking hazard?" I asked, only to have her respond, "No, a chalking hazard. We were drawing with chalk and he put a chalking hazard in my hair! We need to wash it out."

It's so hard to be three, especially when you have to deal with big brothers who put chalking hazards in your hair.

Ducklings

2007-08-23T14:14:00.003-04:00

Someone mentioned to me recently that I can now officially call myself Mama Duck, since I have the same number of children as Mrs. Mallard in "Make Way for Ducklings." Since I haven't bothered making up blogger names for my children (I thought it would be too hard to keep track of who is supposed to be whom) I will now dub them Jack, Kack, Lack, Mack, Nack, Oack, Pack and Quack.

(Jack and Nack are the boys)

April, 2008: I can't keep track this way, so I'm re-nicknaming my kids. If you actually know them, you can probably figure out who is who just from the names I chose, but except for Jelly, don't ever call any of them any of these nicknames in real life. Not if you want them to answer, anyway.

Yossi, my firstborn, a boy. age 10
Devi, next in line, a girl, age 9
Malki, girl, age 8
Tobi, girl, age 7
Motti, boy, age 5
Mimi, girl, age 3
Jelly, girl, very very 2
Lilly, the baby, almost 1

I must be insane.

2007-08-23T13:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, who in her right mind would volunteer to go on a trip that involved 1 grownup and 8 kids (all under 11) in a big van for an hour in each direction, plus another 3 kids and 2 more grownups all together on the T for an hour and a half each way involving 3 train changes in total (2 during rush hour) and a couple of hours keeping track of just under a dozen kids (all under 11) in the Museum of Science?

Me, I guess, because I did. Last week.

3 grownups. 11 children, ages 10, 9, 8, 7, 7, 6, 4, 3, 22mo, 3mo, and 2mo. On the T, because my big van is just a few inches too tall for the parking garage. Two in strollers, one in a sling. Switching at Government Center. (twice, plus again when the T we were on went express on the way home).

Actually, we had a lot of fun. But I'm not volunteering to do it again anytime soon. So this week, we took 2 grownups and 12 children (fewer grownups and we added a 5 yr old) to Carousel Village instead, where my van fits in the open-air parking.

And yes, we all survived the trip.

And the Magic number is...

2007-05-15T14:11:00.000-04:00

37.
Yes, I made it to 37 with a brocha!!! (Okay, so I missed a couple of brochot along the way, but not any actual numbers, so it still counts.) And that means I counted with a brocha in labor (27), and the night after giving birth (28), and for a good week and a half after! Not bad. And then my husband went back to work, I had all the kids plus a newborn, and I promptly forgot a whole day.

Oh, and RenReb missed one in the thirties too, so I might have even gotten past her! Which makes me feel a bit better, although compared to last year's magic number (1, yes, I missed counting completely on the second day of Sefiras HaOmer last year, yes, that made me feel pretty dumb, although I completely blame my husband for failing to remind me.) I think I did a pretty good job!

Tzniut Meme

2007-04-26T15:07:00.000-04:00

From Sephardilady over at Orthonomics... I "stole" it, she didn't tag me.

For married women, do you dress by the same standards as you did when you got married? Also for married women, do you and your husband conflict about this issue?

More or less. My hemlines have snuck a little longer, and there was one snood I used to wear (crocheted, with crocheted headband) that always showed a bit more hair than any others that I had... I no longer wear that style. The only things my husband said on the subject were that he would prefer that I cover all my hair, and he doesn't think Red is a tzniusdik color... so for him specifically, I no longer wear red in public. I think I've convinced him that burgundy, merlot, et al (you know, wine colors) are not technically red.

Do you often feel uncomfortable when you are in the company of a group keeping higher or lower standards than you?

Nope... I'm comfortable with my level, which is a really nice feeling.

How accepting is your community of women who "deviate" from the generally accepted mode of dress?

Pretty accepting, I think... there's such a wide range of "Acceptable" here. I love this community.

If you have a daughter, has tzniut become an issue yet?

I have 3 daughters over the age of 3, so yes. One of them is specifically forbidden to go out in public without tights, although the others are permitted to wear knee socks... precisely because she just isn't tniusdik in socks. I'm not sure I can explain it... but her skirt stays on her legs better with tights and if it doesn't at least she's covered.

Have your standards changed from when you were growing up, and why?

Um, yeah!! When I was a kid, almost anything went. But I'm cheating on this one... I wasn't raised observant. My parents let me wear just about anything I wanted to. It was my own personal sense of modesty that insisted on skirts when possible, not too tight jeans, long shorts (at least to my knees) and no belly-baring anything.

What's in a name?

2006-11-09T12:00:00.000-05:00

I grew up using my English name. It was, while not exactly unique, pretty rare. 0.006% of females in the United States (7650 women) share my name, at least the way my parents chose to spell it. 63750 additional women have the same name with the more common spelling variant, but that is only another 0.05%, and still pretty rare. I really liked being able to identify myself by just my first name and having people instantly know who I was, since they probably didn't know anyone else by the same name.

Then I married into a family that, while giving their children both English and Hebrew names, calls their children exclusively by their Hebrew names. My husband wanted to call me by my Hebrew name. Now, I have nothing against the name Miriam. I really do like it. But it's just too common!

Do you know how many women in the US have Miriam as their legal name? About 84150, or 0.066% of US females. Which would lead you to believe that it is still pretty rare... except that when you only look at the Jewish community, it's more like 25%. (I'm making that number up completely, but it is much much bigger than 1, 2 or even 5%). Most families have a Miriam. Suddenly, Miriam isn't enough to identify me. Luckily, my last name isn't so common... there are only about 20 of us, nationwide.

Still, I miss feeling rare and special... but not enough to go back to using my English name more.

(Statistics supplied by Name Statistics.)