Tzniut Meme

From Sephardilady over at Orthonomics... I "stole" it, she didn't tag me.

For married women, do you dress by the same standards as you did when you got married? Also for married women, do you and your husband conflict about this issue?

More or less. My hemlines have snuck a little longer, and there was one snood I used to wear (crocheted, with crocheted headband) that always showed a bit more hair than any others that I had... I no longer wear that style. The only things my husband said on the subject were that he would prefer that I cover all my hair, and he doesn't think Red is a tzniusdik color... so for him specifically, I no longer wear red in public. I think I've convinced him that burgundy, merlot, et al (you know, wine colors) are not technically red.

Do you often feel uncomfortable when you are in the company of a group keeping higher or lower standards than you?

Nope... I'm comfortable with my level, which is a really nice feeling.

How accepting is your community of women who "deviate" from the generally accepted mode of dress?

Pretty accepting, I think... there's such a wide range of "Acceptable" here. I love this community.

If you have a daughter, has tzniut become an issue yet?

I have 3 daughters over the age of 3, so yes. One of them is specifically forbidden to go out in public without tights, although the others are permitted to wear knee socks... precisely because she just isn't tniusdik in socks. I'm not sure I can explain it... but her skirt stays on her legs better with tights and if it doesn't at least she's covered.

Have your standards changed from when you were growing up, and why?

Um, yeah!! When I was a kid, almost anything went. But I'm cheating on this one... I wasn't raised observant. My parents let me wear just about anything I wanted to. It was my own personal sense of modesty that insisted on skirts when possible, not too tight jeans, long shorts (at least to my knees) and no belly-baring anything.

What's in a name?

I grew up using my English name. It was, while not exactly unique, pretty rare. 0.006% of females in the United States (7650 women) share my name, at least the way my parents chose to spell it. 63750 additional women have the same name with the more common spelling variant, but that is only another 0.05%, and still pretty rare. I really liked being able to identify myself by just my first name and having people instantly know who I was, since they probably didn't know anyone else by the same name.

Then I married into a family that, while giving their children both English and Hebrew names, calls their children exclusively by their Hebrew names. My husband wanted to call me by my Hebrew name. Now, I have nothing against the name Miriam. I really do like it. But it's just too common!

Do you know how many women in the US have Miriam as their legal name? About 84150, or 0.066% of US females. Which would lead you to believe that it is still pretty rare... except that when you only look at the Jewish community, it's more like 25%. (I'm making that number up completely, but it is much much bigger than 1, 2 or even 5%). Most families have a Miriam. Suddenly, Miriam isn't enough to identify me. Luckily, my last name isn't so common... there are only about 20 of us, nationwide.

Still, I miss feeling rare and special... but not enough to go back to using my English name more.

(Statistics supplied by Name Statistics.)